Two parents come to you with the following difficulties:
i) one says that her four year old girl is withdrawn and does not interact much with people around her.
ii) the second says that his five year old son throws temper tantrums if he is not given what he wants.
iii) What advice would you give to the parents of these children?
There are many, many children who are shy or “slow to warm up,” meaning they are uneasy or cautious in new situations or with unfamiliar people. As babies, they didn’t like being held by just anyone; they wanted to be cuddled by only a few special, trusted people. As toddlers, they stay on the “sidelines” for a while, watching what others are doing until they feel comfortable enough to join in. They may have a difficult time with changes like a new child care provider, and protest when a relative they don’t see often offers a big hug.
Consider Your Family
No two children or families are alike. Thinking about the following questions can help you adapt and apply the information and strategies below to the unique needs of your child and family.
How would you describe your temperament? What’s it like for you to meet new people or deal with a new situation?
How are you similar to or different from your child in this way? How do these similarities or differences impact your relationship?
Temperament and Children Who Are Slow to Warm-Up
Every child is born with his own way of approaching the world, which we call “temperament.” A child’s approach to new situations and unfamiliar people is one very important temperament characteristic. The fact is that some children are naturally more comfortable in new situations and jump right in, whereas others are more cautious and need time and support from caring adults to feel safe in unfamiliar situations. At
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